Locked in a Room: Part 4
It was a Saturday afternoon, I came home from babysitting for one of the families. Teri had gone to Piedmont for a couple days to help her parents and took one of the little kids and both of her adult children who lived in the house at that time.
It was nap time so the children that were in the home were asleep. I was supposed to be going over to Zack and Savannah Stargell’s home later that day to stay the night. Kevin was in the living room playing a video game and I was standing in the doorway of the living room just chit-chatting. We were talking about something to do with the kids and I had something on my phone and walked over to show him. At that point he had turned the chair completely facing me and leaned far forward as I walked over.
He positioned himself to where his shoulder was touching my hip. The chair was a very low chair and he let his arm hang off the side of it and slowly wrapped it around my leg. I knew what was about to happen, I froze and just tried to keep talking about the kids and the game he was playing. He continued for a bit to play the game with one hand as the other kept inching up my inner thigh. At some point he told me to sit in front of him and he slipped his hand down my chest and to the top of my waistline, then he paused the game to unbutton my pants. He plunged his hand down my pants against my skin. He was moving his hands all over me and then after what felt like forever he began to penetrate me with his fingers. After a few moments he asked if that felt okay, if I wanted him to stop. I didn’t really respond, I never said much.
Then he suddenly stopped and pulled his hand out and turned the game off and told me to stand up and come with him. I panicked, my voice in my head started screaming, “Why can you not just say no!! Run, why are you walking with him! What’s going to happen, where are we going?”
He ushered me in front of him and down the hall to the guest bedroom. I paused at the doorway mind racing, he gave me a little nudge to go in, which I did. He came in and locked the door behind him and closed the blinds on the windows. Without saying a word he walked up to me with the bed behind me and started taking my clothes off me. I didn’t utter a word, I couldn’t. What was happening? What was he going to do? I was so ashamed and mortified, I had never been naked in front of a man and this was a man who claimed to be my surrogate father and he was my pastor. What was going to happen, why was he doing this, why couldn’t I just say no like he asked me to?!
After I was completely naked he gently pushed me back to lay on the bed with my legs hanging off at my knees and he just stood there for a minute staring at my body. Then he placed his hands on my knees and started to slide them up my inner thighs as he began to kneel down. What was he going to do, he’s still fully clothed? As he knelt down he began kissing my inner thighs until suddenly he started performing oral sex and using the other to roam freely over my body.
After a few moments he stopped and asked if it felt okay and if he needed to stop. I knew what he wanted, he didn’t want to stop, I wasn’t supposed to say no, he wouldn’t have brought me in here if I was allowed to say no. So I said he could keep going.
I don’t recall how long this went on, I truthfully felt myself leave my own body and it’s like I was up above us watching this happen to another version of myself. After what seemed like forever he stopped and lifted my body and placed my head at the head of the bed and I was slightly propped up on the headboard. He stood right beside me pressed up against my head stroking my hair with one hand while also pushing my head harder against his hips while the other hand was caressing my body.
At this point, I remembered that I had been talking about different nightmares I had had where a man would force me to perform oral sex on him and Kevin had kept telling me that no one has dreams like that unless they were abused themselves.
He began to grind on my head and softly moan. He pulled my head back and looked into my eyes saying, “ I want your mouth.”
So then I gave what was demand. After a few minutes he finished and tilted my head and looked me in the eyes saying, “That was amazing, that definitely wasn’t your first time doing that!” my heart sank. Thankfully moments later we heard a child walking down the hall calling for their dad. He quickly told them to go turn the tv on and daddy would be out in a few moments.
He sat with me for a few moments looking at my body telling me what a good job I had done. Then he started to leave telling me to wait a few minutes before getting up so the kids wouldn’t see us leaving the room together.
I finally got up and immediately went downstairs to pack and go to Zack and Savannah’s house. Trying to make sense of what just happened and hoping that it would not happen ever again.
But unfortunately that was just the beginning.
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