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Next Boundary Crossed: Part 3

Posted on by Sydney Sjorlund

In the weeks to follow the first “Counseling sessions” many others followed with similar results. Kevin would repeatedly say things about my dreams not just being dreams but traumatic events that actually happened to me playing out in my dreams. (I was not sexually abused before Kevin Dodd and I will explain more about that in another post.) He would often ask leading questions, in example, when I mentioned someone drinking beer in one of my dreams. Kevin recounted that my family didn’t drink, so who was I around that did? I only had one friend who’s dad drank in front of me on occasion, so I mentioned him. Kevin immediately told me, well then what did he do to you then? Was it actually him in your dream but is it not actually a dream but a memory? Kevin would grope and grind on my body for a while while counseling me then ask a question like the previous one toward the end and tell me to come find him sometime when I figured out the answer or needed help working through things again.

I would stress over the questions, questioning my entire life and existence and all that I knew. Inevitably I would go to him and talk about things he had said before. He would come up with reasons to walk over to me or have something on his computer he would want to show me so I would have to go around his desk in his study and stand by him. He would start running his hands all over my butt and grind on me anytime he was standing.

One day, I came home from my once a week daycare job I had at the time to find that Kevin was home with just a little child asleep in their room for naptime. He was in the living room in a swivel chair. I walked in the door and he asked how my day went as I walked into the house. We talked for a minute about some random chit chat. He turned the chair to fully face me and kind of tapped his leg. Well at this point, I knew what that meant, I knew what he was asking for. I was starting to really feel like my job was to give him access to my body, after all, it was my fault for not saying no the first time!

As I walked over to his chair he quickly put his hands on my thighs and started rubbing up and down my legs. He started rubbing his fingers on the top of my pants, running his finger along the top of them. Then he told me to sit down and gently tugged on my waistline until I was sitting in front of him, my back against the chair positioned in between his legs. He started with his hands on my shoulder and creeped up to the collar of my shirt, Then suddenly plunged one hand down my shirt. While the other hand worked down my torso and he grabbed my pants and started unbuttoning my pants.

It all happened so fast, I was a virgin, I had never even been kissed, let alone a grown man putting his hands underneath my clothes touching me like this. What was happening and why was he doing this? He told me it was my job to tell his wandering hands no, this was happening because I was failing him, why couldn’t I just say no. Yet why was I starting to feel like this was my job, like I was told to submit myself to him. Was this what everyone was meaning?

While he starts trying to unbutton my pants, I am panicking! What’s going to happen? What was he going to do when he did get the unbuttoned? Well moments later my mind is snapped back to reality when he gets my pants undone and plunges his hand down my pants and underwear. As his fingers touch me and after a moment of holding my breath. Then he leaned his upper body down till his head was resting right beside mine, and while he bends over he started penetrating me. 

After several minutes went by he asked if that felt okay? And did I want him to stop? That became his theme, he was asking those questions after he had done something for several seconds or minutes. I said it was fine and he just kept going. I felt so ashamed, so dirty, what was happening? Why was he doing this? What was wrong with me that this was happening?

He finally stopped after what felt like forever. He asked if I was okay, to which I responded I was fine like always. He then said that Brittanie was going to be home soon. So he got up saying he needed to go do some things and went to his bedroom. I went downstairs to the basement to my room and cried for a while trying to figure out what just happened and why I couldn’t just do what he asked me to and say no! What was wrong with me?

Instances like this happened frequently over the course of a month or so until he escalated things. Which I will talk about in the next post.

Click Here for Locked in a Room: Part 4

Introduction: Part 1

Posted on by Sydney Sjorlund

This blog contains the story of what happened to Sydney Sjorlund at Hope Baptist Church in Springfield Missouri. Sydney was living with the Kevin Dodd family and Kevin’s son Stephen discovered evidence that his dad was engaged in a totally inappropriate relationship with Sydney. The cat was out of the bag and the leadership of Hope Baptist Church had to do something about it. If they had fears that Kevin’s actions were criminal in nature they were well justified. So they went into damage control mode, concocting a plan to share blame equally between the perpetrator Pastor Kevin Dodd and Sydney.  Pastor Kevin Dodd stood before the members of Hope Baptist Church and confessed his sin of “adultery.” He then announced he was stepping down as head pastor. Sydney was then forced to stand before the congregation and read a short prepared statement (which had to be pre-approved by the elders) and confess her “sin of adultery.” The entire event was a sham and many members were outraged by it. Over half the church removed their memberships, some doing so only after confronting the elders over what we could plainly see was a cover up. Some of us have, from time to time, continued calling our former elders to repentance. All efforts have fallen on deaf ears. We’ve waited far longer than we probably should have to bring this matter public. 

There are no laws against grooming. Predators are left unfettered to groom even little children, waiting patiently until they reach the age of “consent.” Rarely does clergy sexual abuse occur without prior grooming, and often the grooming has taken place over years, prior to any sexual assault. The goal of grooming is to slowly and progressively break down natural self-protection barriers. It starts seemingly innocent enough with hugging leading to long embraces, progressing to touching and stroking, lap-sitting, etc. This leads to petting over the clothing. Once the actual sexual abuse begins, the victim has been thoroughly conditioned to put up little or no resistance to it.  

Even with all the prior grooming, sexual abuse always results in trauma, confusion and self-doubt. Trauma is amplified where it includes not just sexual abuse but also verbal and emotional abuse and blame. Try as the predator might to convince his victim that “We’ve got a special relationship. But we have to keep it a secret because no one else will understand,” the victim will feel shame. The shame, self-doubt and confusion serves to the benefit of the predator by keeping the victim silent. Then there’s the issue of gaslighting. Some pastors are extraordinarily gifted at gaslighting, especially where they authoritatively quote the Word Of God as justification for their actions. Predatory pastors often gaslight their victims into believing the sex is something the victim wants. That way if the predator is caught he can claim it’s “consensual” and therefore, at worst, “adultery.” Predatory pastors rarely ever accept responsibility fully. At best they “blame-share” thereby making their victims equally responsible. Some even go so far as to victim-blame, i.e. “She seduced me with her feminine wiles.” One of the favorite sermons predatory pastors preach is on David and Bathsheba. Bathsheba gets the blame for “tempting David by indiscreetly bathing on her roof.” 

What happens when victims of clergy sexual abuse do muster up the courage to be a whistle-blower in their church? In many if not most cases elders, deacons, and many of the congregants circle the wagons. It may not be right but it’s a natural tendency to disbelieve a whistle-blower, especially where what’s at stake is the unblemished reputation of a “godly spiritual leader.” Even where there’s overwhelming evidence of clergy sexual abuse, at best it will be spun as “an inappropriate physical relationship,” or perhaps “adultery” with the goal of “restoring the pastor” as quickly as possible. Little if any regard is given to the victim. 

This is Sydney’s story, but she writes it with our support – former members of Hope Baptist Church Springfield. Tragically this isn’t just a case of your ordinary clergy sexual abuse. It’s actually much worse than that. Add to that a daily dose of verbal and emotional abuse. Yeah, not consensual in the least. Gaslight the victim into believing their parents were “evil” and “abusive.” After encouraging Sydney to move into their home the Dodds engaged in a calculated agenda of parental alienation to isolate Sydney from her own family, thereby making her that much more vulnerable. 

To the Matthew 18 Police: Yes, multiple members have confronted the elders, and repeatedly so. Many have brought their concerns to them, pleading for plausible explanations, only to be rebuffed with a blanket, “It’s slander. It’s lies. It’s gossip.” Their refusal to provide any credible justifications left us only to plead with them to repent and step down from leadership. Even as recently as February 2023 some went to them yet once again, only to have them circle the wagons again. Six years have come and gone with no resolution in sight. It is with great regret that we now are compelled to take this catastrophic moral failure public. 

Kevin Dodd stepped down in 2016 as head pastor of Hope Baptist Church (only to be replaced by the very elders who covered up for him), as of this date Kevin Dodd remains Associate Pastor Of Worship at First Baptist Church of Battlefield, MO even though they have removed him from the website. This is a prime example of pastors protecting predators while ignoring their victims. Though Pastor Ray Smith has known about this for years, he’s content to permit a sexual predator “minister” in the midst of the very flock he’s charged with guarding. Other Baptist pastors and leaders in the Springfield area were also long ago made aware but likewise have turned a blind eye. 

Sydney’s story may contain graphic descriptions of sexual abuse. Sydney is apprehensive about going into any graphic detail. But we have encouraged her to be fully disclosing the details, not for shock value but in the interest of uncovering what Hope Baptist Church elders have sought for so long to cover up. The nasty details are the very thing they know to likely constitute criminal acts. It is therefore inappropriate for children to read this blog. Reading this blog could also trigger victims of sexual abuse and should, therefore, be read only after careful reflection of whether or not the reader is emotionally prepared.



Click Here for Moving in: Part 2