Son Finds Proof of His Father’s Abuse

It’s in January of 2016 that I, Alexander Clemence, son of Kevin Dodd, find to be the best place to begin telling you this story. 

I was 18 years old and still living with my parents. At this time also living here were my parents, Kevin and Teri Dodd, one of my biological sisters, Brittanie Dodd, my cousin Guy, my three adopted siblings and Sydney. 

Sydney had been living with my family for three and a half years. She moved in when Steffanie still lived there, who since then had gotten married and moved out. 

Her decision to move in was one of practical benefit; she wanted to help coach a volleyball team with Brittanie and driving from Joplin as frequently as she would have to wasn’t tenable. Having had the impression that my family was a trustworthy Christian family, neither she nor her parents had any inkling of risk posed to her by any one of the Dodd’s. 

Sydney had forgotten her phone in the bathroom, I was the one who found it and I knew the passcode to unlock it. I chose to look into her messages with my father, and I found a string of texts and replies between them, arranging a secret meeting behind a gas station. 

I brought this to my mother, who, seemingly enraged, called for my father whose first instinct was to lie by trying to show how the messages weren’t present on his phone. Immediately it was obvious he’d deleted them on his end. Within the hour the other two elders of our church got to the house to guide us in this situation. These two elders were Brandon Dodd, my fathers first-born son and Jonathan Betancourt who had been frequently claimed as another son by my parents. There was nothing said of the questionable nature of these two men being the ones to handle this situation – in fact, there were no questions asked except those that were harshly rebuked.

At one point with only Sydney and the young children absent from the room, I asked my father a question about how physical things had been. At the time I remember feeling guilty when my father quietly indicated that it wasn’t just hugging or being handsy. Not guilty because of his response, or because of the fact that my mother seemed angry with him. I was made to feel guilty by my brother, who angrily reminded me that no one was meant to ask questions but he or Jonathan. 

Very little information made its way out at this point. It’s ironic because this was in my opinion the first and last point that my father felt a modicum of guilt. Guilt that I now see for what it was; someone cowering in fear of the consequences about to rain down on them.

I was quickly denied being present in any other conversations, which left me to simply observe the activity. The Elders spoke with only my father to confirm details, neglecting to speak to Sydney at all until initial consequences were being put in place. 

Sydney’s phone and car keys were taken; the line of reasoning being that they didn’t want to risk her communicating further with my father. 

Neither my father’s phone nor his vehicle access were removed. Likewise when the elder’s decided to put an application on Sydney’s phone to monitor her messages, my father refused this as well. 

Kevin faced no consequences while Sydney was banished to live with another young couple in the church, Savannah Stargell and her husband Zack, my sister and her husband. Sydney was also forbidden to speak about the matter with anyone, but absolutely not with Savannah or Zack.

My father was so fully spared anything past a slap on the wrist that my mother – in what was purported as grace but I see as compliance – let him sleep in the same bed as her that same night. 

Kevin deserved – if nothing else – brutal scrutiny, and was instead treated as a man who slightly erred and deserved nothing but compassion. While the church elders shunted a young woman off to an unfamiliar home with no outside contact or means of escape, they spoke to the family of her abuser to implore them to be mindful of his state, fearing he might do something to harm himself.

No such concern was spoken in regards to Sydney.

I had one other conversation with my brother that night before he left. Because in the last year I had made clear intentions that I was fully intent on marrying Sydney; intentions she didn’t have any notion of. 

So I simply asked my brother and church elder how I handled those feelings and that intention in lieu of what I now knew had happened. 

I’m sharing his response with you because I feel it is telling of the wicked perspective of my brother, a purported man of God. 

“Everyone has dirt, you just have to ask yourself if she’s going to be too dirty to you now.” 


Click here for the next blog post “Constant”

Next Boundary Crossed: Part 3

In the weeks to follow the first “Counseling sessions” many others followed with similar results. Kevin would repeatedly say things about my dreams not just being dreams but traumatic events that actually happened to me playing out in my dreams. (I was not sexually abused before Kevin Dodd and I will explain more about that in another post.) He would often ask leading questions, in example, when I mentioned someone drinking beer in one of my dreams. Kevin recounted that my family didn’t drink, so who was I around that did? I only had one friend who’s dad drank in front of me on occasion, so I mentioned him. Kevin immediately told me, well then what did he do to you then? Was it actually him in your dream but is it not actually a dream but a memory? Kevin would grope and grind on my body for a while while counseling me then ask a question like the previous one toward the end and tell me to come find him sometime when I figured out the answer or needed help working through things again.

I would stress over the questions, questioning my entire life and existence and all that I knew. Inevitably I would go to him and talk about things he had said before. He would come up with reasons to walk over to me or have something on his computer he would want to show me so I would have to go around his desk in his study and stand by him. He would start running his hands all over my butt and grind on me anytime he was standing.

One day, I came home from my once a week daycare job I had at the time to find that Kevin was home with just a little child asleep in their room for naptime. He was in the living room in a swivel chair. I walked in the door and he asked how my day went as I walked into the house. We talked for a minute about some random chit chat. He turned the chair to fully face me and kind of tapped his leg. Well at this point, I knew what that meant, I knew what he was asking for. I was starting to really feel like my job was to give him access to my body, after all, it was my fault for not saying no the first time!

As I walked over to his chair he quickly put his hands on my thighs and started rubbing up and down my legs. He started rubbing his fingers on the top of my pants, running his finger along the top of them. Then he told me to sit down and gently tugged on my waistline until I was sitting in front of him, my back against the chair positioned in between his legs. He started with his hands on my shoulder and creeped up to the collar of my shirt, Then suddenly plunged one hand down my shirt. While the other hand worked down my torso and he grabbed my pants and started unbuttoning my pants.

It all happened so fast, I was a virgin, I had never even been kissed, let alone a grown man putting his hands underneath my clothes touching me like this. What was happening and why was he doing this? He told me it was my job to tell his wandering hands no, this was happening because I was failing him, why couldn’t I just say no. Yet why was I starting to feel like this was my job, like I was told to submit myself to him. Was this what everyone was meaning?

While he starts trying to unbutton my pants, I am panicking! What’s going to happen? What was he going to do when he did get the unbuttoned? Well moments later my mind is snapped back to reality when he gets my pants undone and plunges his hand down my pants and underwear. As his fingers touch me and after a moment of holding my breath. Then he leaned his upper body down till his head was resting right beside mine, and while he bends over he started penetrating me. 

After several minutes went by he asked if that felt okay? And did I want him to stop? That became his theme, he was asking those questions after he had done something for several seconds or minutes. I said it was fine and he just kept going. I felt so ashamed, so dirty, what was happening? Why was he doing this? What was wrong with me that this was happening?

He finally stopped after what felt like forever. He asked if I was okay, to which I responded I was fine like always. He then said that Brittanie was going to be home soon. So he got up saying he needed to go do some things and went to his bedroom. I went downstairs to the basement to my room and cried for a while trying to figure out what just happened and why I couldn’t just do what he asked me to and say no! What was wrong with me?

Instances like this happened frequently over the course of a month or so until he escalated things. Which I will talk about in the next post.

Click Here for Locked in a Room: Part 4